


I Won't Let Go

by Lynn_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bloodshed, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Implied Sexual Content, Major Character Injury, Minor Injuries, Romance, Siblings, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:59:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn_Winchester/pseuds/Lynn_Winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has been helping the Winchesters for a few years now, but as his grace is beginning to slip away, he is becoming more human. He is learning to cope and handle human emotion with a little help from the reader, who happens to be Sam and Dean's sister. (AU taking place somewhere in the realm of season nine.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another anon request! I was linked to this video >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7Dogqsz6Ec  
> My Prompt: "Please do and Angst/Fluff fic of the reader as a Winchester sibling that falls in love with Graceless!Castiel. Sam and Dean DO NOT approve, but Reader and Cas can't ignore their feelings for the other."  
> Thank you Anon!
> 
> This is meant to be a one shot, but as always, I could be persuaded into writing more.   
> Oh, and for those of you following my Blind!Dean fic, I am still working on the next chapter! It is going to be great!!

"Let go! Dean! Let go of me!" You struggled against your elder brother's arms, trying as hard as you could to free yourself from his grip.

"Y/N! Stop!" Dean shouted back at you, keeping you away from the scene unfolding before your eyes. Sam stepped in and assisted Dean in holding you back, speaking a bit more gently. 

"You are going to get hurt! Just wait." Your struggling grew more furious as you shifted your gaze over Dean's shoulder to see another hard punch collide with Castiel's face. He was already covered in blood, fighting the angels before him. He needed help! Why the hell weren't the boys helping him?! Why were they holding you back?! Castiel fell to his knees after a few more hits, and to your horror, his angel blade was knocked from his hand. The angel in front of him had taken it, and was now holding it against his throat. 

"Cas! No! Cas!" Your shouts were so frantic, your voice cracked some the second time you called his name. The angel standing over Castiel grabbed him by the back of the hair, jerking his head back, and forcefully removing his grace. A bright light consumed the both of them, and your brothers shielded your eyes. They were trying to protect you, but honestly, they should have been protecting Castiel. When the light faded out, Cas was left on the ground, the other angel had vanished, and blood was pooling around their friend. You were the first to glance up, and right away you shoved Dean out of your way, shouldering Sam in the process, and running as fast as you could to get to Cas.

He wasn't conscious, but he was breathing. You slid onto your knees in the blood and dirt, scooping him up gently into your lap. "Cas! Cas, come on you have to wake up, please don't die...please don't die." You wiped a bit of the blood from his face, pushing his hair back out of the way as tears lined your eyes. You began to rock a bit from side to side, cradling him as you did so, trying your best not to let your tears fall. You never had been much of a 'crier', usually the only time you did was when you lost someone close to you. You were a Winchester after all. 

Sam and Dean both walked up behind you and Sam leaned down first. "Hey, Y/N, he'll be fine. You don't have to worry about Cas. He is always fine."

"Yeah, I mean come on, this is Cas we are talking about. He is a tough little guy." Dean added.

"No!" You shot back, giving them both a death glare. "This is different! Why is it that no matter what happens, you two constantly assume he is 'fine'?! Just because he is an angel doesn't make him invincible! What, you two don't think he can hurt or die the same as anything else?! He is your friend, and he could be dying right now, and you two are brushing it off like it's nothing! You didn't see what I saw! That angel took something from him, just before the flash of light...I think it was his grace. It looked like the same thing we got back for Ana a few years back." You paused, trying to calm down a bit as you could feel the tears stinging your eyes, threatening to slip. 

"If that is the case, and his grace is gone, he will turn human for awhile before he burns out completely. It'll be a slow and painful death unless we can get it back..." You turned your eyes back to Cas, feeling a tear fall, and kicking yourself for it mentally. Sam and Dean missed it, but it fell from your cheek onto Castiel's. 

"You want us to go on a wild goose chase?! Now?!" Dean sputtered out as if it was some unbelievable request. "Y/N are you kidding me?! That angel was a psycho! He could have us dead in a heartbeat! We can't just track him down, bang on the door, and start popping off orders! That is certifiably insane."

"Then don't! I am not asking anything from either of you. Stay back, do whatever it is you two do, and I will take care of it myself."

"Like Hell you will." Sam stated flatly, giving you 'the look'. "We aren't letting you hunt this thing down alone. Let's just stop and think for a bit before we start charging people guns blazing. We can wait till Cas wakes up, then see what he thinks. Okay? Sound rational and agreeable?" 

You thought for a moment, covering your face for a brief moment, as if you were frustrated, discreetly wiping away the track your tear had left. "Fine." Your voice was just as flat, allowing Sam to pick Castiel's body up, and rising to your feet. Dean slung his arm over your shoulders and gave you a halfhearted hug, and kissing your hair near the top of your head. 

"You are still a jackass Dean. I haven't forgiven you yet. You know better than to hold me back like that."

"I know that, but looking out for you and Sammy is what I do best, and nothing comes before that. It sounds bad, but that's the way it's always been. Plus, Cas wouldn't have wanted you and Sam messed up in that anyway."

"We could have helped him. Four to one is pretty good odds in our favor. If we had stepped in maybe his grace would still be intact. He wouldn't be in this position now." Dean fell silent after you said that. He kept his arm over your shoulders, contemplating the way it sounded and what you were getting at, trying to figure out if he was reading too much into it or not. 

Once in the impala, Dean drove, Sam took shotgun, and you sat in the back behind Dean, cradling Cas once more, letting his head rest in your lap. The ride was quiet at first, your fingers tracing lightly over the side of Castiel's face in a comforting fashion. Your eyes were fixed on his face, not noticing Sam glance back at you. He didn't think much of the scene, as you had done the same thing for the two of them time and time again over the years. Sam put his eyes front after he and Dean exchanged glances. Dean's asking how Cas was looking, and Sam giving him a small shake of the head, telling him there was no change. 

Dean wanted to break the silence, not liking the feeling that you were upset with him. You had been born just minutes after Sam, and Dean had felt the need to keep both of you safe since day one. Mary and John had no idea you were even in there until the moment you were born. Sam was bigger, obviously the more dominant twin, whereas you had complications at birth and were much smaller than him. You and Sam were close, obviously sharing the womb allowed you both to bond, and though you had some major differences, you two almost always seemed to get along fine. You and Dean on the other hand ran hot and cold. Typically you got along fine, but when you butted heads, the fights could get rather nasty fairly quick. The older you got, the more you resembled Mary, and that was difficult for Dean to deal with. 

You all loved each other though, always putting the other two before one's self. There were a lot of things that had upset you over the years, some things were trivial, others were more serious. Trivial being the way your brothers tended to make you 'the look out' on cases, trying to keep you away from danger. Sure they were just trying to keep you safe, but to you it was like a slap in the face, like you couldn't be a good hunter because you were a girl or something. The bigger things were decisions the boys had made without talking to you. Like when Dean sold his soul, or got Sam possessed by Gadreel, or took on the Mark of Cain without hearing the downfalls.

Dean glanced back at you through the rear view mirror, deciding to speak, and make sure you weren't still upset with him for keeping you held back. "You okay back there?"

"Just get us back to the bunker. Cas is still bleeding and this gash in his side needs stitches."

"Okay...do you want me to stitch it up for you when we get there?"

"I can do it myself Dean. Just...forget it." Dean was beginning to lose his temper with you, and though Sam gave him a glance that screamed 'don't you dare!', Dean did it anyway. 

"What is your problem? This can't be because of what happened back there. What is your real problem?"

Glancing up at Dean through the mirror, you glared a bit, half ready to lose your mind on him. "I don't want to talk about it, and I doubt you want to hear what I have to say anyway, so just drive and drop it."

"Oh hell no. I am not dropping shit. Now you tell me what your problem is, or so help me, I will pull this car over and not drive one more mile till you do!"

"Oh, great! Please Dean, waste more time so Cas can hurt longer! I bet he just loves it when you do that, but anymore it's to be expected. No one is even surprised anymore." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing this was going to happen. He warned him. Staying out of it, Sam looked out the window, letting their fight be between them. 

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You don't give a damn about anyone that isn't me or Sam! After everything Cas has done for us over the years, you still treat him like crap and you know it! If he doesn't come the moment you call, you get pissed and say he 'abandoned' you. If he can't do what you ask, you say he is useless, baby in a trench coat status. Newsflash! He is in the middle of a damn war! A war that has jack shit to do with humanity right now, and still he has managed to waste time down here with us as often as he can spare! So forgive me if I am just a little irritated that you didn't jump off your high horse and help him out when he needed it, and that you held back the only help that he had willing! 

How many times has he stuck his neck out for you two, huh?! He fixed Sam when he got his soul back, he dragged you out of Hell, he made sure you got out of Purgatory safely, not to mention all the times he has 'zapped' you around for the sake of saving time, or gotten your asses out of hot water, or healed you, or looked after you! You guys never say thank you, and you just don't get it. We are the only form of 'family' he has left, and he is totally expendable to you. It's bullshit. I mean correct me if I am wrong, but if you care, you have a stupid way of showing it."

You fell silent. Sam glanced at Dean, partially agreeing with you, not having seen it from that angle before. It was true, they had been using him, and it wasn't often that Cas asked for things in return. It was like they had their own superhero to fix their problems for them from time to time, and they had taken advantage of that, forgetting he was technically a being that had needs and feelings too. Dean struggled to find a valid argument, but came up with nothing. You were right, and now he felt like a jackass.

"I am sorry, okay? I guess we just-"

"Save it Dean. Don't say it to me, say it to Cas when he wakes up. He never defends himself against you. I think it's time someone fought a battle or two for him, share the weight. The last thing he needs is more stress from us." There was a long silence before Sam turned to look at you with a furrowed brow. 

"Wait, is that why you have been doing weird things over the years? To try keeping Cas happy when we made him feel bad?" Your eyes went a bit wide.

"I don't know what you are talking about." You lied.

"Oh come on, last summer you set up a bee keeping house in the back yard! Oh, and don't think I don't know about the cat you've been hiding in the bunker!" You glanced to Sam, silently telling him to shut his cake hole, but Dean was already glaring at you.

"I knew about the bees, but a cat?! What cat?! There better not be cat in the bunker!"

"Oh stop. You didn't even know he was there till Sam said something. I gave him to Cas shortly after we moved in. He likes having a pet, and he likes the bees! They aren't hurting anything."

"Alright fine, but no more animals! You hear? No dogs, no ferrets, nothing. Deal?" You agreed, though you were still considering getting a fish tank. 

~~~

Once inside the bunker, you let Sam carry Castiel to the couch, while you ran to the restroom to get the first aid kit. For most people it would hold bandages, peroxide, and things of the like, but a hunter's first aid kit was a bit more extreme. Instead of a tin lunchbox, your first aid kit was made from a tackle box that had multiple extended holsters for different things. You set the box on the coffee table, then went and got a bowl of warm water and a rag. You wiped the blood away from Castiel's skin first, then took his coat, tie, and shirt off him, setting them aside. He had a nasty gash in his left side that had finally stopped bleeding, and needed to be stitched. 

Your iPod was plugged into the iHome, playing songs softly on shuffle while you worked to fix the broken angel. You had always been the kindhearted hunter, like Sam, showing compassion wherever you could. You had done your best to make sure Cas knew that he was cared about, figuring the boys would be more reserved about such things. The problem though, had been that you started to develop feelings for Cas, that he himself either didn't understand, or didn't reciprocate. Your brothers had never been a fan of the idea of you dating, naturally, but Dean couldn't stress enough about not dating anything that wasn't human.

Double standards sucked though. Sam had been with his fair share of women, some of which had been more than human, like Madison the werewolf, Amy the kitsune, or Ruby the demon, and Dean had been with tons of woman, far more than his fair share, one of which was Ana, a former friend of Castiel's. You had dated here and there, but never anyone that wasn't human. Your relationships hadn't been serious of course, but you had let the occasional cute guy pick you up in a bar for a night every once in a blue moon. Why not? The guys did it all the time to other women.

Hell, even Castiel himself had his own romances. First was Meg, the demon, which was personally a beautiful thing to have seen in your opinion, due to the fact that Cas and Meg didn't see each other as vessels, but in the other's true form, and still they managed to fall for the other. At one point, Dean's friend Benny had been interested in you, asking to take you out to dinner, but Dean ruined that before you could even answer by saying, "Benny, you are a great friend and all, but not my baby sister." to which, Benny agreed, not wanting to step on toes. 

Before all that, before the other people, you remembered when Cas first appeared. You had been in that shed with Bobby and Dean. You had heard him come crashing in like a hurricane, and though Dean and Bobby tried to kill him at first, he was barely phased. You had been in awe, and he hadn't stopped awing you since. Sure he had his flaws, like that whole leviathan God complex incident, but he had more than atoned for that since then. He had spent countless nights watching over you and your brothers, saving you from sticky situations, and generally just being there when any of you needed him.

You had grown attached to Cas over the years, but you were afraid to say so. He couldn't feel emotions, not to their full extent, not till now anyway. That, plus Dean would ruin it and you knew it. He wouldn't let this go. You pushed the thoughts from your mind as Cas began to stir, reacting to the warm cloth. 

"Y/N? W-where are we?" Cas flickered his eyes open slowly, his head spinning as he tried to focus. 

"Back at the bunker. Everyone is fine, except you of course. It's okay, we are safe now." Cas nodded, closing his eyes again and falling silent. You finished wiping the blood off him, humming along to the music that played, and cleaning the gash in his side. Once it was ready, you grabbed the needle and looked down at Cas. "This is going to hurt...it might help if you roll onto your other side and grab that pillow, it'll help from twitching." Cas obeyed and did as you asked, allowing you to slip the needle into his skin, threading the first stitch through.

"Y/N, I want to thank you for what you tried to do. I could hear you calling out and struggling against Dean. I know you fought to try helping me, and I appreciate the gesture. However, I am glad that Dean managed to keep you safe. Metatron would have killed you had you tried to intervene, and I don't think I would have taken that very well." 

A blush touched your cheeks as you continued to stitch, using expert precision to do this right. "Really? I mean I've never died before but the boys make coming back look so easy. I guess that is mostly because of you though." Cas chuckled a bit before he winced as the needle entered the wound again. 

"Yes, I suppose between Death, myself, and God, these boys have had more luck than others could ever dream of." 

"Well, you are welcome. I don't know, I just didn't like what I was seeing. I didn't like what was happening to you."

Both of you fell silent. Cas wasn't sure how to react to a statement like that, so instead, he simply listened to the music playing, hearing the words and trying to understand them. His human emotions were already kicking in, and the lyrics made him feel a bit sad. You weren't even thinking about the song as you mouthed the words quietly. It was 'The Last Night' by Skillet, and once you finished stitching, Cas turned and looked at you. 

"Y/N?"

"Yes Cas?"

"I like the song that played. You wouldn't happen to have more like it would you? I mean I've heard music before but I never really listened." You gave him a smile and helped him up, leading him to his room with your things in tow. 

"Sure. I have tons of music on this thing. You go take a shower and I'll set it up for you, okay?" Cas agreed and took a shower, returning within minutes wearing a pair of grey sweatpants. You had placed the setup on his bedside table and handed him a small remote, explaining how to use it. The cat, Moe, purred loudly and curled up on Castiel's lap. He pet the animal absentmindedly, then turned to look up at you. 

"Thank you, for everything."

~~~

Days later, Dean had kicked Castiel out of the bunker, saying that there was going to be a horde of creatures out to find and kill him, and he couldn't have that in the bunker. Cas vanished that day, doing as Dean had asked, but the thing was, you hadn't been home to stop it. When you returned from grocery shopping, Dean told you and you saw red. 

"What do you mean you asked him to leave?! This was the safest place he could be! You threw him out to the dogs?!"

"I didn't throw him out! I just...made him go elsewhere for you and Sammy's safety! This place is warded but not from everything! We were looking at a full on ambush if he stayed!" 

"So you tossed him out onto the street to get ambushed alone?! You dick!" With that, you swung hard, crashing your fist into the side of Dean's jaw. He stumbled back and Sam walked in, only having seen that. He stepped between the two of you, trying to diffuse the argument. You shoved Sam off you and turned, grabbing the keys, and heading for the door.

"Hey! Where do you think you are going?!"

"I am going to find Castiel! Someone has to look after him. He is human now and doesn't know how to handle mortal life. Eating is even a new concept for him. I can't believe you."

"You aren't taking my car anywhere young lady!" After that, you stopped and turned, pulling a knife from your holster and throwing it as hard as you could. Catching the shoulder of Dean's shirt and pinning it to the wall behind him. 

"The car belongs to all of us asshole, and don't talk down to me like I am some kind of child! You aren't dad!" Your words came out much more harshly than you meant them to, but regardless, you threw the keys at your brother and walked out of the house anyway after grabbing your winter coat and purse full of weapons and money you had hustled from a few idiots the night before at the billiards tables. 

For days you searched for Cas, unable to find him anywhere. He had changed his name so he was harder to find, only confirming what Dean had said. Something was out to kill him, and he was in trouble. Dean and Sam had tried calling over and over again but you didn't answer them, only leaving a late night voicemail for Sam every so often. You refused to even speak to Dean, not after this mess he had created. As each day passed, you worried more and more, wondering if Cas was even still alive, or if he was rotting in a ditch somewhere. 

Just when all your hope was lost, you entered a gas station, grabbing a tea, and from the corner of your eye, you thought you had seen him. You let the thought go at first, having had this happen more than a thousand times before, but it wasn't until you heard the voice that your heart nearly stopped in your chest. There was no mistaking it. 

You set your tea down and rounded the corner, to see none other than Castiel himself working the register. He bid farewell to a customer, then closed the drawer, and your jaw dropped. 

"Cas?" You said a bit shaky. He looked up and locked eyes with you, confusion hitting his features. You moved quickly, the both of you, half sprinting for the other until you crashed midway into each other, wrapping the other in a tight embrace. "Cas I thought you were...I mean I've been looking for you for weeks and I heard..."

"I'm okay." He tried to comfort you to no avail. 

"Well I am not." You pulled away from him a bit only to reveal that you were in full on tears. He looked concerned and wiped them away from your cheeks, trying to piece it all together. "I thought you were dead! This whole time I was so scared you were going to be a corpse laying around somewhere, or that you were starving, or cold with nowhere to go, and I just...kept looking. Dean shouldn't have kicked you out. He was wrong, and he didn't even tell me and Sam about it until way later." Cas once again tried to comfort you, but you were so angry and so relieved, you were a mess all around. 

You got a motel and waited for Cas to get off work, telling him to meet you there as soon as possible. In the meantime, you called Sam, and to your dismay, Dean answered. 

"Y/N?! You haven't called in weeks! Where the hell are you?!"

"Shut up and put Sam on the phone. I am not speaking to you."

"Fuck that. Tell me where you are. Now. I am coming to get you and drag your ass home."

"Dean, you give the phone to Sam right now, or I am hanging up and you won't find a thing." Sam could be heard struggling to get the phone away from Dean, but failed, leaving you no choice. You hung up, telling them nothing, and waiting around for Cas to show up. 

When he finally did, he had his sleeping bag and pillow with him, taken from the storage room in the back of the gas station. You welcomed him inside, letting him put his stuff down, before stepping up and hugging him again. He told you his story, of how he had been starving and homeless, but learned how to cope, getting that job but not having enough money for a place to stay yet.

"Well you can stay here with me, or come back to the bunker. Personally I have no desire to talk to Dean, but I need to get you somewhere safer than out in the open."

"Are you asking me to return? Why? Wouldn't that mean danger for all of you?"

"It might, but I don't mind. If one of us is going down, then the rest of us should do our best to stop it, or go down swinging. I can't let you do this alone Cas. I won't. So regardless, we are in this together, no matter if we are here or back home. It's up to you but I am not going anywhere."

All of a sudden, Cas looked down at you, and quickly brought his lips to meet yours. It was sweet, and unsure, but partially confident, and gentile. You were shocked, but didn't object, returning the gesture after a moment. When he backed up, his cheeks flushed red, and he looked to the floor. 

"I-I'm sorry. It's just...I think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You seem to have cared since the beginning. I know Sam and Dean are good men, and that they mean well, but you are...different." A blush rose to your cheeks and you looked at the floor as well.

"Well yeah...I mean, I've always cared. That was always half my problem. I always run into things head on without considering consequences. I hate to see people I care about hurting. You may have been an angel but that didn't mean you were unable to feel anything at all, right?"

"In living as a wavelength of celestial intent, it was difficult for me to grasp the concept of emotion, but since losing my grace, I've come to understand in full why it was I rebelled in the first place. I too, care too much, as you put it."

The two of you talked nearly all night, reminiscing on older memories, and analyzing them to a deeper extent. He was beginning to understand, and it just made you care all the more that he was seeing the pain he faced without even realizing it till now. The two of you laid together, talking as old friends do, until you tucked yourself away in his hold, the both of you drifting into an undisturbed and comfortable sleep. You had stayed in that motel room for three full days and nights, only venturing out for food when it was needed, and basking in the company of the other. 

You laughed together, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you sensed a connection to him, much stronger than it had been before. You had even let your phone die, because talking to someone else, wasn't what you wanted to do, especially Dean, though you and Cas both forgave him for what he had done, you didn't want your older brothers to ruin this for you. It was this night, as you lay together, as you had for the past few nights before, that a sense of romance ensued. 

You had just returned with take out when you opened the door and the lights were dimmed. "Cas?" You had called out, worrying for a moment that he wouldn't respond, only to see rose petals had been strategically placed all about the room, and there were candles flickering lazily on the tables. Castiel stepped out from behind the privacy wall near the bathroom, wearing a full blown tux, and holding a bouquet of beautiful white lillies. Were you dreaming? You had to be right? If not, where the hell did Cas get this idea from? You tried to stifle a smile, still rather confused, as he approached you, and handed you the flowers. 

"I got these for you. I thought you might like them. I remember Sam once said they were your favorite, right?" You smiled brightly and set down the food, accepting the flowers and inhaling their sweet scent.

"Yeah, they are. They're beautiful Cas...what is all this about? Where did you-"

"I was watching the television and I happened upon a film. The man in it had fallen in love with the woman, and he did something similar to this. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her, and this was how he went about it. Is this...incorrect?" Cas began to doubt himself for a moment before you shook your head. 

"No...no Cas this is amazing. I just...I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just felt that I owed it to you to express myself as best as I could learn how. I know we are going back to the bunker tomorrow, and I didn't want it to be ruined. I doubt your brothers would approve of my actions, but I just wanted you to know. I think you are beautiful, and I am rather ashamed that I had to lose my grace in order to realize exactly what I am sure I knew deep down this whole time. I care about you in ways that I can't explain, and all I know is that I don't want to know what my life will be like, if ever you aren't in it." Your cheeks burned red. You were speechless in every sense of the word. Cas stepped to the side and pushed the 'play' button on the boom box, then offered his hand to you asking to dance, and sure enough, 'The Last Night', was the song he had selected.

The two of you danced about the room, not saying a word, not needing to. You both knew how the other felt, but the fact that it was 'forbidden' by your brothers is what made it difficult. The night was enveloped in sweet romances and blissful intimacy, of a kind that neither of you would likely speak of after. As the dawn broke over the horizon, you turned to Castiel, both covered by nothing but the sheets of your bed. 

"We have to go soon..."

"Agreed, but I would be content to stay here with you."

"Me too Cas, but it isn't safe...we both know that, and I am not losing you." The former angel kissed your forehead before you both moved to share a shower, letting the romance spark again before making the trek back home. The moment you entered the bunker, Dean rushed you and though you thought he was about to knock you on your ass, instead he wrapped you in a hug and began to spit apologies. 

"I was wrong, I am sorry, I am so sorry, just don't leave like that again. You had me and Sam worried sick Y/N! We thought something horrible happened to you!" Sam entered the room and hugged you as well, before you were finally able to speak. 

"It's fine. Let's just forget it okay? I found Cas and brought him back with me. He is staying here where he belongs, where we can look after him, okay?"

Both your brothers agreed, and for a while, everything was fine. Everyone was getting along great, and there wasn't even an ounce of trouble. You and Cas acted as if nothing had been going on, though when you caught each other alone he would cover your skin in kisses and whisper sweet nothings about missing the way your heartbeat thudded against his side as you slept. He was perfect, and unafraid to tell you exactly what he was feeling or thinking. Everything was perfect, for about a month and a half anyway. 

You were late. Later than you had ever been before. You didn't think it could be, so you took a precaution, and stopped in a nearby gas station on your way home. A pregnancy test hidden in your purse.

You waited until the following morning, having it be the very first thing when you woke, pacing the bathroom floor as you waited for a result. Could it be? What would Dean say? How would Sam feel? What about Cas? You ran your fingers through your hair, biting your nails when a knock came to the door and you jumped a mile. "What?!"

"Hurry up in there! You've been in there forever!" Sam said in a sleepy tone, getting ready for his morning run. You grabbed the test that had yet to give you an answer, hiding it in your hoodie pocket, and slipping out the door.

"Sorry. All yours. Are you hungry? I am going to make some breakfast..." Before Sam could answer, you walked off, heading to the kitchen to get the pans warmed up. You were so nervous. What if it was positive? How were you going to tell everyone? What if it was negative? Would you be sad? You had no idea with all the thoughts spinning in your head. Those nights had just been so perfect and romantic that neither of you even thought to 'be careful'. You began to crack eggs, placing the gooey contents into the pan, checking every so often for the test, when finally the result appeared before your eyes. 

You leaned against the counter for support, but knocked the entire carton of eggs off the edge and the lot of them crashed onto the floor. 

'Pregnant'

Right there in black and white. 

Your heart raced as your hand moved to rest over your stomach. "Hi..." That was all you managed to say in awe. You were overwhelmed, but happy, a smile touching your cheeks. Sam entered the room then, glancing at you on the floor and running to help you up. 

"Hey! You okay? What happened?" He gestured to the mess of broken eggs and the fact that you were on the floor. 

"Oh, yeah, I just...I slipped and knocked the eggs over. It's fine." He helped you clean up and you decided against making breakfast, returning to your room, mostly to hide. You were paranoid as all get out and had to take some time to come up with a plan. You hid the test in your underwear drawer, the one place your brothers would never go, knowing it would be safe there. Throughout the day you acted nonchalant and normal, and no one noticed a thing. You had to get Cas alone, but didn't want to raise suspicion. He had to know first.

The entire day had passed and the thought had actually managed to slip your mind, convincing yourself maybe the test was defective, and you should take another to be sure. You decided not to worry about it, and went about your evening, watching movies with the boys. 

"Alright. Pizza run. I am going to go and pick it up. Y/N, you still got that card with the free one on it?" Dean asked getting up from the couch. 

"Yeah, it's in my wallet in my purse." You didn't even think about it. Didn't think to stop him. Didn't remember the evidence that had been left there, until it was too late. Dean grabbed the empty test box and turned slowly, holding it up for all to see as he gave you a stern glance. 

"Y/N...what the hell is this doing in your bag?" Your face drained of all color instantly. 

"I uhh...I..."

"Don't you dare try and tell me you were covering for Sam or some snarky crap. I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night! Truth. Now. Are you or are you not pregnant? Where is the test, I want to see it." Sam's brow furrowed in confusion, putting the pieces together from this morning, and looking to you for answers, the same as Dean. Cas was unsure what was going on exactly, so he too, looked to you with confusion. 

"Surprise!" You said with faux enthusiasm. "You guys are going to be uncles?" You tried, hoping Dean wouldn't burst a blood vessel. 

"Test. Now." Nodding, you did as Dean asked, retrieving the test and handing it over. Dean stared at the bold letters for a long moment before he passed it off to Sam and tried to think before he spoke. Sam smiled brightly, jumping up and hugging you with congratulations, obviously happy and excited, supportive even. 

"You'll be a great mom Y/N! I mean I doubt this was planned but a blessing is a blessing, right Cas?" Castiel was still a bit shocked. He was afraid to speak or even move, not knowing if he should give away the obvious fact that this baby was his. Dean turned then and took hold of your arm, turning you to face him and looking you dead in the face.

"Who is the guy Y/N? What did you have some fling when you were out 'looking for Cas', and then this happened? What is his name? I am gonna rip his throat out!" 

"Dean, could we just...not fight about this please? I didn't want you guys to find out this way, I was going to do something special. I forgot the box was in my purse. I thought you'd be happy for me."

"Happy for you?! Y/N, we are in the middle of a damn war here and you are carrying precious cargo! I am happy, but I am protective as hell, and if anything happens to it, or to you, I don't know what I'll do! This has got to be the worst timing ever! Now tell me who this guy is so I can beat his ass and feel better. I mean the thought of some scumbag with his hands all over you in some dingy motel room is enough to make me sick!"

"Why Dean? You and Sam do it all the time to other girls. Why isn't it okay for me to do the same?"

"Oh no, you aren't turning this around on me. Tell me his name. Just give me the damn name!"

You were about to lie, Cas could tell. You were going to cover for him and say it was just some nobody from a bar somewhere. Cas didn't want that, so finally he stood up and your eyes flickered to him. 

"Cas-" You began but was quickly interrupted.

"It was me Dean. The infant in your sister's womb was created between she and I." Dean shook his head, unable to believe what he had just heard.

"Say again? Are you frikkin kidding me?! After everything I always said, you picked an angel? After all the mistakes Sammy and I have made with non-humans, and you go and do this?" Dean scolded you at first before he turned on Cas. "And you. You defiled my baby sister? You could have said no, you knew better, and after all this time, you betrayed my trust?! I thought she was safe with you!"

"I am!" You interjected just as Dean took a step toward Cas. "Technically I didn't break your rules because he is human now, and he was when it happened. Not that it matters because of prior feelings, but that isn't what this is about. I don't care if he is an angel or a human, God, Leviathan, whatever! The fact is that I fell in love with Castiel a long time ago, and never said anything because I knew you would be this way!" Dean froze and looked back to you. Sam stepped in and stood between Dean and Cas defensively. 

"Alright, let's just everyone take a step back and calm down for a minute. Dean, listen to me. Being pissed off and beating the hell out of your best friend isn't going to change a damn thing. All it will do is hurt him, and hurt your sister. You don't want to do that do you? From what I understand, they've been refraining from being happy together to keep you happy, and though it's considerate, it really isn't fair. Why don't you just go take a drive, think about it a bit, and we can give them some time by themselves to talk?"

"I think they've had enough 'alone time', don't you?"

"Dean, just stop. Regardless, this baby is going to be family. You can either accept it and step up, or back out, it's up to you. You know how our story is going to end, but what about them? What if they get the happy ending at the end of all this? Just go think about it." Dean sighed heavily, raking a hand through his hair, then turned to head for the door. He didn't say a word, till he suddenly doubled back and knocked Cas right off his own two feet with a hard right hook to the jaw. "That was for sleeping with my sister and not telling me about it. I feel better already." 

Dean walked out, and you moved to help Cas up, who just smiled at you, as Sam moved to the kitchen, stealing glances from afar. "Well, I think that could have been worse, so I will take it for what it is. I think he took it well considering." Cas said with a bit of a chuckle, getting to his feet and taking your hands into his own. 

"I agree. I thought it would be worse."

"You were going to lie to him for me. Weren't you." He said as a statement rather than a question.

"Yeah. I didn't know what to say and I didn't want him to murder you." The both of you laughed a bit again as he stole a glance to your stomach. 

"So...are you pleased about this situation, or are you indifferent?"

"I am happy. Worried of course, but happy. You?"

"I am very happy. One, because we have our own little miracle about to happen, and on top of that..." Cas spun you out and dipped you low, cradling your back in a dance-like step. "I don't have to hide anymore. Dean and Sam know, so now I am able to show you off to the world like I've wanted to." This brought a smile to your lips and before you could say a word, he righted you, cradled your face into his hands, and kissed you with all the feeling he could muster. He was happy, and so were you, and right now, that was all that mattered.


End file.
